James Francis Curtin… 5 Years Now…

I’ve always had this crazy obsession since I was a kid… I wanted to know what makes people tick.  What drives people to do the things they do and the big question… What makes the difference between peoples lives who are extraordinary and mediocre?  Why is it that someone who was poor, no education, odds are against them and become someone who extraordinary and make a huge impact in society.   And at the other spectrum you have people who are given every opportunity for a great education, love,  no struggle… and then go in and out of rehab…. It’s NEVER what happens to you… it’s what you do after…

This email below was sent to me from a guy name Frank Curtin… Who faced something that I cant even begin to express in words…. but Frank did… I’m honored to meet him a few months back at a seminar and until today… I never knew his story….  I get a sense that someone is using Frank in a big way to touch and inspire others through James.

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December 14th, 2010 marks the 5th year anniversary of the passing of my 8 year old son James. I cannot believe that 5 years has come and gone and my precious red headed boy has been with the Lord for what seems like an eternity to me now. The severe pain that had accompanied me for so long has faded a bit, and I thank God every day because of the friends like you and the family I have to see me through.

As part of my grieving journey, I’ve learned a few things about life that I’d like to share with you:

1. Give your child an extra hug any moment you can… You just don’t know when your last one might be… (note: this applies to anyone you care about)
2. Listen to your children when they have something to say… They just might wow you with their brilliance or simply make you laugh (who can’t use that)…
3. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive… The time you get with any person is limited in reality, so make sure you make each moment the best it can be… This can be a tough one for sure, and yet it will surely reduce the number of regrets you leave behind…
4. Spoil your children with your time, not your money… If you reverse this order, you will foster entitlement and laziness… Thankfully my son has never asked me to get back to work when we are playing and spending time together, or at least not to my face
5. Discipline with love, not fear… Our kids need to know our love for them transcends everything. And they need to know there is a consequence for each and every action too, both good and bad; and there is a difference between stern and plain old mean… Be the example you want your children to be… They will parrot you…
6. Share your dreams for your kids with them so they always know that you believe in them… If they feel they are failing, they can always borrow your belief in them to see them through…
7. Choose to be happy every day that you’re awake… It can be difficult from time to time, but give that an effort first before putting your mind in a place that adds no value to your being…
8. Ask for help when you need it and give help to those who need it… After all, if that is the example you set for others, maybe one day when someone you really love needs help, someone else will do that for them because our positive attitudes are contagious…

As I consider what might have been for James, and the things we might have done together, I am quickly reminded that we are here for but a breath of time and I believe in my heart that James is waiting for me, to spend an eternity together… So for now I wait patiently…

For me, today has yet to unfold what I’ll ultimately feel about this anniversary that I’d rather not have, yet it is my choice to make it what I want. For starters, I choose to cherish the fact I had 8 plus years with James and if I were told that I could have James for only 8 years before he was born, I would do it EVERY TIME!

I am blessed to be the father of both James and Andrew and I thank God everyday for them. I hope I can be the example I want Andrew to be and I pray I remember to keep that a priority.

If you get a moment today, please say a prayer for Michele and Andrew (he is 10 now) today as they too await on what today has in store for them.

God Bless you all… Frank Curtin

www.jfcfoundation.org (James Francis Curtin)